• S.D. Hintz

The Horrors of Vitamin B12

The sun has been reinforcing happiness for eons. Beach goers love it. Solar panels can’t get enough. Even flowers open up for a quick fix in a garden of delights.

Vampires on the other hand hide in their coffins so they aren’t reduced to potting soil. Zombies have sensitive skin that crisps up like pork rinds. And worms only come out when it rains. Oh the horrors of vitamin B12!

What is it about that one substance in a multivitamin bottle that destroys the enzymes of popular tropes? Simple. Sunshine is happiness and horror takes those good moods and spits them out into the gutter of dead rats.

That’s right, folks. Too much vitamin B12 is a bitch. Call Tan Mom. Text Dracula. Ask the mummy through a series of hieroglyphs and maybe he’ll emerge and tell you his Egyptian rags are immune to the blessings of Ra. Let me know what they say before you fall victim to their extreme happiness.

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